We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening, ' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my desk is a work station.11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.12. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR."13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.17. You. That means no nightie on my bed for a week. “C’mon, Brian, we all have needs.” “Bree, it’s our parents.” “You’re right, I mean, ‘ew, yuck, and gross.’” “That’s better.” “What about you, are you getting any? I think Amy has a little bit of interest in you. You have a couple of classes with her, yeah?” “Yeah, Amy’s cute… can’t help but be attracted to the cheerleaders, present company not included.” “What, am I ugly?” “Yes.” “Brian, you ass.” I was actually hurt. My self-esteem must have been hitting rock bottom lately. “I heard about you and Matt, I guess I should be a little nicer to you. C’mon, you’re my sister. You know how many times my friends say, ‘You’re so lucky to have Bree as your sister?’ and I’m like… ‘okay, boys, think about your sister in that way?’ Anyway, point is, I know for a fact that you’re sought after and at least you’re not a virgin anymore.” “Wait, how do you know that?” “Matt has a big mouth.” “So you punched his big mouth.” .
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